Abstract: A comprehensive thought in 140 characters or less? How about an entire legacy in 1 word?

They say that when you stare death in the face, your life literally flashes before your eyes; and you are left, just before you leave for the afterlife, with an opportunity to assess the impact of your presence on this planet; your legacy as it were. I would like to think that could be a single word.

It was a cold, grey wintery morning, and I had stumbled, bleary eyed, into the bathroom. Momentarily blinded by the bright light, I shuffled, hands outstretched, towards the basin and squinted into the mirror. It took a while before the full force of what faced me took hold. Panic gripped my heart and I felt as if my very soul was drowning inside me, clawing to get out and breathe. The horror before me was unquestionable: a line of wrinkles growing outwards from the outer corner of each of my eyes.

OK, maybe "impending mortality" is a little dramatic, but to quote my beloved late Gran: one minute you have crow's feet clawing at your eyes, the next you're being sucked six feet underground.

Anyway, it was a sufficient wake-up to force me to take stock of everything I had achieved in life. It didn't take long. "Is that it?" I remember asking myself. On paper it may have looked reasonably impressive: a lifetime in radio and almost ten years as a columnist. But given the immediate and transient nature of radio, its product is dead and gone the instant it is born and given life. And, sure, I had written enough columns to fill a couple of volumes, but who'd want to read all those again?

I needed a legacy - something enduring that would live long in peoples' lives. It shouldn't sit on a shelf gathering dust; it should be out there, alive and useful.

Given my pitiful eye-hand co-ordination it couldn't be anything I had to build with my hands. It had to be something I could create in my mind, so it would have to be made of words. Write a book? No, too much hard work, and too much competition. Create a compelling catch phrase that would inspire people? No, motivational speakers - my nemesis and the object of much of my vitriol - would simply steal it and make it their own.

Then I remembered that Winston Churchill, himself no slouch with words, once commented that short speeches were the most challenging to write because so much had to be said in so few words. So that got me thinking: if creating something compelling with a few words was a challenge yet didn't involve too much work, what would be the ultimate challenge, with hardly any work required?

The answer: a single word. My decision was made - my legacy to the world, before I was sucked six feet under, should be a single word.
I was immediately struck with the enormity and seeming impracticality of my task: a word that sounded impressive, such as "ubiquitous" would hardly see the light of day because people would be scared they'd spell it incorrectly. On the other hand, a simple word would be used a lot, but it wouldn't stand out. Also, there was that risk of it being lost in the turbulent fray of daily verbal communication.

And then it hit me: I needed an abbreviation or an acronym; more importantly an abbreviation or acronym that would be embraced by the purveyors of social networking. People who use Facebook and Twitter use abbreviations like OMG and acronyms like LOL all the time.

But if I were to introduce a word to the social networking lexicon, it had to represent my credo - a mantra for all things sceptical and cynical. Such a word would have to be an enduring torch to my rage towards those insipid souls who search for some measure of value and identity in the vacuous lives of celebrities; those who look for guidance in their horoscopes; and those who measure their worth in the opinions of others.

It was then the word literally wrote itself: GAFL, pronounced 'gaffle'.

GAFL stands for 'Get A Life' - with a suitably combative adjective starting with 'F'.

Here's a demonstration of its philosophy: Shocked because Halle Berry has broken up with her boyfriend? GAFL. Shivering with anticipation because your stars say today's a good day to meet someone new? GAFL. Worried what someone at work might say about your old blouse? GAFL.

Now spread the love: if someone sends you a snotty SMS, reply with 'GAFL'. Someone posts a whining comment on a blog you love? Top it underneath with a simple 'GAFL'. Angry with the antics of the ANCYL, grab a can of spray paint and decorate a bridge with 'JuJu must GAFL'.

We're all given a relatively short stint on this planet - too short to try and live the lives of others. Be an individual, take each day as it comes; and in some small way inspire those around you, for that is your legacy.

And sometimes all it takes is a single word.

Originally published in The Sunday Tribune, 5 September 2010

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